Brand- Live It, Love it, But Learn About It

In my esteemed opinion, branding is the single most important evolution in the art of commerce to date. Ever. Period. Finito.

Branding and personal image are parallel concepts. Both are about communicating an essence, a lifestyle, a choice, or an identity. When you peel back the layers of the onion a bit, branding is a bit more surreptitious-- it communicates a goal or agenda.

Not that this is a bad thing. The paranoid, anti-government, anti-globalization, anti-everything types are likely to be thinking 'Agenda. Ooh. Ooh this is bad. Let's go to the grocery store and buy ten years worth of canned goods and stock up on ammo.'

Wait, maybe I'm confusing the paranoid people out there with the Sons of Liberty. My bad.

As usual, dear reader, I digress. Pardon me while I steer the conversation away from American gun nuts and back to branding.

Yes, brands are a method of communicating a goal or agenda. No, that's not a bad thing. At least, not if you understand the concepts behind what a brand is.

At its core, a brand is a communication tool. If you pay attention to advertising which paints a picture of a lifestyle associated with a certain product, then do it with the understanding that the company is communicating their intent to sell you a product, if you identify with the message (read: brand) that they have created.

Let's say that Company A sells widgets. By definition, widgets are a completely useless product that are entirely fictitious and serve little purpose. Kind of like everything with the 'As Seen on TV' sticker slapped on it. Company A embarks upon a marketing campaign that features music by Moby, endorsements by U2 and various once-upon-a-time-talk-of-the-town sports figures. The purpose of this campaign is to align Company A's widgets with the perceptive lifestyle of middle-aged, midlife crisis men who have stacks of cash to blow through (perhaps not the best strategy during a recession, but I digress).

Every major company has (or should have- I've consulted for quite a few that were in a hopeless muddle) a well-defined brand strategy. To survive and prosper in the modern business climate, branding is an essential layer of an organization's overall communications strategy. Railing against the labels, advertising, and brand culture of the mass-market is somewhat like smacking yourself in the face with a fresh-from-the-sea salmon in order to encourage the fish to transform itself into sushi.

One thing is for certain- love, hate, or apathize, a little knowledge will go a long towards functioning more harmoniously in our consumer-oriented society. Unless of course, dear reader, you want to hit up the gun shop, stake out a piece of land and start your own society. In that case, all my best. I'm staying here. I like my BlackBerry, Coppley, Jack Daniels, and dreams of Audi far too much to wander off into the dark woodlands.

Really?

Dear reader, I feel silly having to say this: but a muscle shirt [sic 'wife-beater'] is not acceptable attire for any dining experience above greasy spoon or fast food dive.

If you see anyone wearing said [sic] 'wife-beater' at a dining establishment that has more than two brands of beer on tap, please pelt the offender with whatever is handy. Tomatoes. Rocks. Old kleenexes. Kitchen sink. Your pick.

Synergy or Symbiosis?

Today started off at the bottom of the hill.


My BlackBerry battery died last night, unbeknownst to me. Seriously, if it's such a smart phone- why couldn't it just plug itself in when the battery got low? No battery last night meant that my alarm didn't go off this morning at the anointed hour. Usually 7 on Friday mornings. I woke up rather bleary eyed and confused at 11, with my roommate's dog licking my face. Which also is unusual, and not terribly pleasant- he had a serious case of halitosis happening this morning.

So, I became reserved to the idea that I wouldn't be making my morning Introductory Accounting seminar (oh... damn. Fiddlesticks. Fubar. And any other not-at-all serious 'F' words you can think of- I'm not terribly partial to accounting, no offense to the CGAs and CMAs of the world who are reading this).

After the acceptance of this thought, I resigned myself to cleaning up the apartment a bit. And then settling into my normal morning routine. Food. 3S. Putting some music on super loud and pretending that I'm still 21. And then, getting dressed.

Getting dressed in the morning (or for an evening out) is a bit of quasi-spiritual, meditative, PAIN IN THE ASS experience for me most times. Well, not always a pain in the ass. But the process of getting dressed involves starting with two (not so) simple questions.

1. What am I feeling like today?
2. Do I really HAVE to wear shoes? (the answer to this skews one way or the other, depending on the season)

The big one is 'what am I feeling like today?'

Do I feel vibrant? Good to be alive? Am I feeling a little apathetic? Am I tired? Peppy? Do I feel tall today? Do I feel like a German rock star who can't find his leather pants? Am I feeling youthful? Or mature? Am I pissed off that I'm thinking this much about what I feel like today?

For me, fashion is an expression of what's on the inside of a person. What I wear often reflects my mood, my attitude, and my outlook on life that particular day of the week. Today, I felt good- despite sleeping through my first class. Then again, maybe that's why I felt so damn good. Debit, Credit, Statement of Retained Earnings, schmernings.

As I was pouring through my rather sizeable selection of shirts to choose something for today, I stumbled across a gem that I'd forgotten about. I haven't worn this shirt in months- it was just hiding between two others. It's a black shirt, contrasted by a vibrant purple striping pattern. Almost gradient-like if you will, dear reader. Bottom line: this shirt has 'pop'. The purple stripes stand out.

Which reminded me of something that I'd forgotten about in my quest to mature myself rapidly and become an adult after I graduated university. Statements make confidence, and vice-versa. One of the easiest ways for a guy to look great in his clothes is to wear something mostly normal and unassuming- and then add something (please, just one something) that catches the eye boldly.

I should stress again that the 'something' which stands out should typically be just ONE thing.

Picture this:

A guy walks towards you, wearing a brilliant turquoise shirt... and Hawaiian print pants, similarly loud.

He stands out- but a little on the ridiculous side of the spectrum.

Same guy walks towards you, but wearing a pair of dark blue jeans, dark coloured sport coat, coordinating dark coloured shirt, accessorized with a dazzling silver necktie. That stands out too, but isn't circus worthy.

I also discovered something else while getting dressed.

I need to go shopping. I realized that I don't have any suitably casual non-denim pants. And wearing dress pants to college is a bit overkill (damnit!).

Socks (@$$#$!)

Clearly, the word 'socks' actually is the word for some expletive that I won't utter aloud in a language which I haven't yet identified, nor mastered.

What I'm trying to say, dear reader, is that I LOATHE socks. With every fiber of my being. In fact, I feel so poorly about shoe underwear that I routinely hold events where effigies of socks are burned and defiled in the midst of a group of wildly gyrating, warpaint-toting individuals.

(No offense to the good people at McGregor - A HappyFoot is... well, happy)

So, why this pathological dislike of socks? Well, my feet are used to being au naturel. They're much more comfortable, and much less stifled in this fashion. I think the old adage about skin being able to 'breathe' is kind of accurate.

But, sadly, socks are somewhat of a necessity to most people. And they're often the most overlooked part of an outfit.

'But why should I worry about my socks? No one ever sees them.'

For the most part, no. But there's definitely plenty of opportunities for people to see your socks (ever sat down in a chair and had your pant legs ride up, for instance?).

Traditional thinking says that your socks should coordinate with your pants. Or with your shoes. Or with your belt. Coordinate doesn't mean exact matching (if I hear ONE more person say 'but that doesn't match the pants', I may just lose my.... socks). Keep it in the same [colour] family. For instance, tan socks are okay with chocolate brown pants. Light grey socks are okay with black pants.

That's traditional thinking, in a nutshell. Now, on to some different thinking.

1. Socks coordinated to your necktie (or central-body accessory).
Wearing a red necktie? How about some funky socks that incorporate reds and pinks? This sort of wardrobe coordination is uncommon, and implies a mind that works outside of the normal rules and boundaries (ie- creative).

2. C-r-a-z-y socks!
Watch a couple of hours of British television, and you'll see what I mean. Our cousins across the pond have been wearing insanely coloured and patterned socks with otherwise-normal outfits for a number of years, with spectacularly eye-catching results. In this form of thinking, the sock does not have to coordinate with the outfit, as long as it is eye-catching and the colours clash with the outfit (this is the point- if the colours 'work' together, the effect is lost. I plan to test-drive this in classes come the fall semester, and keep a tally of how many professors I can derail with loud socks).


In closing, I leave you with some wisdom from a dear friend of mine:

May the sock be with you.

Thinking and Drinking (Ah ah ah ah ah ah- Life)

Getting back into the swing of blogging is a bit of an adjustment. I wrote the last of my final exams for the semester this week, and have finally had the time to sit down and take a breath. Kind of.

Wondering about the title? It's a reference to a song by Classified that I'm very partial to. A feel-good / feel-bad song that I've always found a bit empowering. Hearing it an hour ago on satellite radio made my day. It's funny how music has a certain power over us that extends beyond the conscious; one might say that music extends into our very soul and touches parts of us that we didn't know existed.

So, thinking and drinking? Today's topic is image and alcohol.


Not that I'm encouraging those who don't imbibe to take it up with a vengeance. But, it's a topic in image and perception which I feel merits some discussion. The commercial entities who are in the business of producing and distributing alcohol have spent trillions of dollars over the past fifty years to align their respective products with a target market or audience. This is in line with the efforts of all successful businesses and is a natural law of sorts. The anti-establishmentarians among us would call this underhanded and shallow, but it's an extension of basic human nature and organizational behaviour.

Humanity (particularly in the western world) is consumed by a need to be individual while at the same time being a part of a crowd. Some might say that this is a clear hypocrisy created by a culture of consumerism which is only purposed towards endlessly consuming goods and services.

Personally, I say that the real meat of this phenomenon is that its the single biggest personal development challenge that we have as human beings. Expressing individuality while also associating with a group mentality is like trying to drive both north and south while on the westbound 401. Difficult at best, yes?

The key to this challenge is to not give in to the group mentality and mass-culture mindset to the point where it sweeps away any traces of individuality. Rather, portions of certain group mentalities which the individual identifies with and enjoys can be successfully integrated into their individuality.

The nitty gritty of this? Be one while being a part of many.

It even makes my head spin sometimes, dear reader.

So, what does this have to do with alcohol?

Picture this: you go to your favourite 'establishment' on a rather busy evening. In your immediate field of vision, right in front of the bar are three people. They're all dressed similarly- casual, not overly flashy but still respectable. Let's call them ' x ', ' y ', and ' z '.

X is sitting on a barstool with a brown bottle of domestic beer in hand.
Y is leaning against the bar, holding a rock glass containing a few ice cubes and an ounce or two of copper-coloured liquor.
Z is standing, tall glass filled with a vibrantly-coloured liquid garnished with a cherry and miniature paper umbrella in one hand.


Although these three people are all similarly-dressed and presumably could blend into the same crowd with ease, the drinks that they each hold send vastly different messages to you. The message that you get from each person will differ based on your personal background and experiences, of course... but generally speaking- X appears simple in taste. Y appears mature and somewhat complex, and Z appears relaxed and ready for the beach.

Now, here's something else to note- nowhere in that example did I make a reference to gender. But I'm willing to bet that when you visualized each person, X and Y were male, while Z was female, or an effeminate-looking male. Just an example of gender-stereotypes that we have as human beings, and a reinforcement of the importance of perception in our society.

After all, as a straight male you wouldn't want to be caught dead sipping on a strawberry dacquiri or something similarly fruity and fun- you'd better be the one swigging from the nondescript brown bottle, right?

Not necessarily. Remember earlier when I mentioned how individuals should pick and choose parts of the groups that they identify with in order to enhance their own individuality? Fruity drinks qualify. Also, dacquiris are exceptionally tasty- and dare I say it- far more satisfying on a sweltering day than a bottle of beer.

Alcohol in itself can also be a language amongst connoisseurs. As with all products, there are particular things that each company associates with its particular brand (lets call it image, shall we?).

My personal favourites?
Scotch (Highland Park 25)
Whiskey (Jack Daniels)
Vodka (Belvedere)
Wine (Pinot Griggio, Sauvignon Blanc, Rosé- vintages change annually)
Beer (Steamwhistle)

And no, you didn't find rum or gin on this list. My stomach turns at the thought of consuming either in appreciable quantities. Maybe with the exception of New Amsterdam gin. Purely because it doesn't leave the taste of juniper berries on my palate.

Next time you visit your favourite speakeasy, dear reader, consider this- what you have in your hand speaks to who you are, how you feel, and what you identify with. That being said, don't be afraid to order something out of the ordinary. Especially if your only agenda for the evening is letting loose and enjoying yourself and the company around you.

Cheers.

The Formula for Happiness

This is a bit of a digression from topics that I normally dwell on in this blog, but I choose to muse nonetheless, dear reader.

I was having a conversation with a close friend of mine who studies psychology (say what you will, but she's actually a nice girl- although, on occasion I do get the urge to wrap my head in lead so that she stops reading my mind).

The topic of conversation was happiness.

Kind of a funny word for something that is so all-consuming in many people's lives. Some people spend their entire life looking for happiness, when they're not even entirely sure what it is that 'happiness' really involves.

Money? Women? Men? Family? Accomplishment? Tradition? Money?

According to my friend, happiness and the things that make people happy can be divided into three spheres. Health, wealth, and relationships (not necessarily the romantic kind, but your relationships in general with other human beings (or cats, if that's your thing).

Thus, we have the formula for happiness.

Health + Wealth + Relationships = Happiness

(although, personally I define it as Mohito + Beach + Scenery = Happiness)

When I started to muse on this little tidbit, it actually does make a lot of sense. When people are ill, they tend to be unhappy. When they're broke and can't pay the bills- stressed. And unhappy. Two hours after a rough breakup? Unhappy (or completely shitfaced).

Now think of a particular time in your life that everything just seemed to click. Odds are that you were in good health, were making enough money to pay the bills, and were getting laid at least somewhat regularly. Or were spending time with a good group of friends frequently enough that your lack of after-dark escapades didn't really matter.

The terms 'health,' 'wealth,' and 'relationships' are subjective. They might mean different things to different people. For instance, 'wealth' does not necessarily have to mean an income of six figures annually. 'Wealth' could be living comfortably in a modest house or apartment. As my future-psychologist friend described it, you are rich in the wealth sphere if you have the means to support a lifestyle which you are content to live.

Personally, being extremely wealthy might seem fantastic, but I don't honestly think that I could spend a million dollars a year on myself and not feel bloated (metaphorically and literally- I have a weakness for Porterhouse).

'Health' is also subjective. For some, the minimum standard of health might be a body chiselled like a Greek God(ess) and the ability to run a three minute mile. For others, 'health' might mean waking up without a migraine or other painful ailment.

'Relationship' is perhaps the most subjective of the three terms. As a culture, we place a lot of importance on the rituals that surround our interaction with other people. Even people who operate on that pretense of not placing importance in the rituals are cognizant of them and subscribe to a ritual of not subscribing to the rituals (ie- self-described 'laid back' people... no offense, dear reader, I'm one of those people).

What are those rituals? In business, a handshake. Traditionally done in meeting, greeting, dealing, and parting (in most of the western world, anyway). Among family and friends, a hug or kiss- again, meeting, greeting, and parting. Among lovers? Other things- I think you can fill in the blanks yourself.

What does the word 'relationship' even mean? It depends on the context. Romantic, platonic, casual. At its simplest, a relationship is the manner in which one person knows and interacts with another person. This is what the third sphere describes. To be happy in the relationship sphere, you don't necessarily have to have massive numbers of adoring friends, or a single adoring romantic partner. Or in the case of some people, a massive number of adoring romantic partners. What the relationship sphere of happiness describes is your personal satisfaction with the interactions that you have with other people. Like the other two spheres, it's different for every person.

This entire post might seem like a massive blonde moment (apologies to any blonde readers without a sense of humour). What I've written does seem very simple, but I think it's a sort of simple that many of us overlook in our daily struggles. Thinking about life and happiness in these terms can give us a new perspective on ourselves and on how we live. And newfound power in coming up with solutions to our problems.

So, how does this relate to image?

Image is a tool for you to use in your daily conquests, whether they relate to health, wealth, or relationships. A positive image will help make colleagues more amenable to you at work. A positive image can increase self-confidence and motivate you to live healthier; whether that image is coming from someone else or from your bathroom mirror. As for relationships- positivity and confidence are universally attractive features, both in romance and in friendship.

Wield it wisely.

The Little Things

Today I learned what a 'cootie-catcher' is. Mind you, I'd known what it was since a young age (ah, the memories of public school...) but had never known the actual name for it. For the unenlightened, a 'cootie-catcher' is a piece of paper, folded up into a shape that resembles a very blocky flower. It has a bunch of things written on various parts of it, such as your favourite colour, who you're going to marry.... and to be honest, I've forgotten the rest.

Cootie-catcher.
Quite a suggestive (in a pre-school kind of way) name for such an innocent contraption. Learning the name of the little thing changed my perception of it quite remarkably. When I was a child, I thought of it as just some thing that a lot of yucky girls on the playground were trying to get me to do.

Now, it's a ritual for pre-adolescent bonding (not to be confused with pre-adolescent bondage. I'm fairly certain that's illegal in most jurisdictions- although, Kentucky might be an exception).

This brings me to today's point: the little things matter. There's a catchphrase that some associates of mine are rather fond of- 'the devil is in the details.' In other words, if you don't pay attention to the minute details of something, they will come back and sink their pointy little teeth into your exposed, bare buttocks.

While driving up to campus today for my second class (some much-needed sleep prevented me from attending the preceding one), I became stuck behind a slow-moving Porsche Boxster (I know, I just love to pick on the Boxster...). Running a little late, as I tend to do, I was slightly anxious and increasingly angry with the man who had chosen to drive his expensive sportscar at a velocity of 40 km/h. Being mere feet away from his rear bumper, I had the time to take in the supple lines of the vehicle's body styling (I think there was a redesign this year- the back end wasn't nearly as ugly as it used to be. Insert cliché ex-wife joke here).

Then I noticed the license plate.

It was a regular old, seven-digit Ontario license plate. Like millions of other ones in circulation. That's not what caught my attention. What caught my attention was what was surrounding the license plate.

'PFAFF Porsche 101 Auto Park Circle Woodbridge ON L4L 8R1 905-851-0852'

Dear reader, if you have the means to purchase an automobile that costs more than the average person's yearly income, now or in the future... do me a favour and spend five dollars on a license plate frame that doesn't have the dealer's branding stamped all over it. You can get them at Canadian Tire. It's a little tacky for someone's personal possesions to advertise another's products or business in a blatant fashion.

It's VERY tacky when you've paid $70,000 to be able to do it.

Career Wear on a Budget (Part II: Women)

I've just realized that the last post was monstrous. I mean, the loch ness monster (sometimes referred to by its admirers as 'Nessie') has shorter extremities than the last post. My apologies, dear reader. I'll do my best to shorten my long-windedness and not write novellas on this blog in the future.

It's been an unexpected week, some family matters have kept me from blogging over the past week. Not that I'm overly concerned, but I do seem to remember promising to blog on the second half of career wear in a day or two. My bad.

So, career wear on a budget for women. Much of my advice is similiar to men when it comes to this topic. Chiefly, spend a little extra money on tailoring to really make the outfit pop and appear more expensive than it is.

(let's not even get into the current 'trendy' fashionista opinion that because we're in a recession, what people wear should look cheap and shoddy to reflect frugality- my one word response to this would be 'GRRR!')

I've changed my mind. Let's dwell on this for a second, shall we?

(disclaimer: if it takes you more than a second to read the following, learn to read faster and then revisit)

AUDIENCE. I've mentioned it a few times before, but when considering your image, this recession (or Great Recession, as MacLean's and others have been calling it- clever, no?), and frugality.... always consider the audience. There will be people who don't care that you're still wearing the same modestly-priced clothing as you always have (dear Jennifer Aniston, I know that you read my blog- I love you, but honestly? This post isn't for you). There will also be people who are offended if you wear a ninety dollar pair of jeans to a social function (insert cliché ex-wife joke here). Personally, I think that the idea of dressing in inexpensive clothes during economic troubles as a great fashion trend is utterly ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, always spend on clothing what your budget allows and what you're comfortable with... but if you're financially well off, don't start shopping for underwear at The Dollar Store. That being said, it might be a tad insensitive to wear a ten thousand dollar dress while spooning out lunch at a soup kitchen (I really hope Jennifer Aniston stopped reading this earlier).

Career. Wear. For. Women.

• Mix and match outfits. Buying items that cross over from one outfit to the next will help shave some dollars and cents off your bill at the end of a shopping trip. Cool shades work quite well, almost universally so, with other cool shades (a cool shade being colours that we associate with cool temperature- blue and its variants, white, grey, black). For instance, a light grey pant suit will support blouses which are blue, green, purple, white and grey (although be careful about the particular shades looking wonky together).


• SHOES! Women love shoes. (Some) men love shoes. I think shoes can be one of the sexiest accessories of any outfit if they have understated interest. If you want to save money on your professional wardrobe.... d o n o t buy a pair of shoes for every outfit (no, this doesn't mean you can buy two pairs for every outfit either). Opt instead for one or two pairs of neutral-coloured, sensible shoes which will work with a variety of outfits.


• Handbags- see above. Remember that part in the Sex and the City movie where Carrie's assistant shows up sporting a Louis Vuitton? And she says something to the effect of 'it's a rental'? Well, that actually exists. There are a handful of such services in Canada even- mind you, mostly scattered around the GTA, Montreal, and Vancouver.


• Outlet malls are your friend.

Cost-cutting measures are important for people on a budget, yes. However, there is one thing that you should never skimp on as a woman.

Makeup.

(if you wear it- personally, I'm very partial to the girl-next-door-makeup-minimalist look, but to each their own).

Makeup can be incredibly expensive, but buy the best quality makeup that you can afford. Most of the attention you receive in a day will centre on your face. Cheap makeup has a habit of doing funky things (running, gobbing, and 'sweating') partway through the day. It also tends to contain very cheap ingredients that are detrimental to the health of your skin. Arbonne carries some great makeup lines, although it can be tough to get ahold of (http://www.arbonne.ca/).

While we're on the subject, if you're an avid makeup wearer, pay extra attention to your skincare regimen. Even the most organic of makeups touted as healthy for your skin still share one thing with their cheaply synthetic bretheren (sisteren?): they're designed to cover up your skin. The skin needs to breathe and the pores need to do their thing. It's nature, baby. A layer of makeup on top of your skin makes it very difficult for air to get in and moisture to get out.

So- wash, moisturize, exfoliate, and do all the good stuff. Eat well, drink well, and take care of yourself. The benefits will show in and on your face. And don't curse your parents too much if you got stuck with the genes for crappy complexion. Just accept it and do what you can with it.

C'est la vie, you know?

I hope that this one wasn't too long, dear reader. If you have a burning question about something, leave a comment. Or call, or eMail, or whatever. Honestly, I don't bite.

Unless you're into that sort of thing.

Career Wear on a Budget (Part I: Men)

It's tough times for money right now, all around. Both businesses and consumers are feeling the crunch of the recession that we're (not for long) in. Of particularly devastating news to me personally is the difficulty that Coppley Apparel Group finds itself in currently. The American

division of Coppley has already filed for bankruptcy, and the Canadian arm of the operation may not be far behind. I had a conversation with a tailor that I've done some work with in the past, and the high-end clothier that she works for is not sure whether they'll actually receive their fall order from Coppley.

Never heard of Coppley? Take a look at their website- Coppley Apparel Group. Coppley is older than Canada itself- they began manufacturing garments circa the mid-1850s in Hamilton's commercial block (also one of the oldest pre-Confederation stone buildings in the country, and certainly one of the nicest). And yes, there is a reason that they've been around for so long. Coppley manufactures high-end goods of exceptional quality for prices that are comparatively cheap. And no, they're not outsourced (though I have nothing against overseas tailors and seamstresses, I prefer to keep the Canadians of considerable talent in this field employed). I realize that it sounds like I'm writing a plug for Coppley, but believe me when I tell you that's not really my intent. I'm simply venting on something that saddens me deeply. Coppley has tailored several made to measure garments for me, and simply put- I feel like a million bucks whenever I wear them. Speaking from personal experience, the security of knowing you look great translates into improved confidence in your professional dealings.

Of course this doesn't mean that you can throw on an expensive suit and sign the six-figure deal, or land your dream job. You do have to know your stuff. BUT if you know your stuff and you're nervous because you feel self-conscious or off your game... well, you might blow an important presentation/sales pitch or bollocks a meeting with a potential client. This has happened to me once or twice (thankfully, only once or twice) and trust me when I say that the feeling you get afterward really isn't a great one.

So, keep your fingers crossed for Coppley. If for no other reason, do it because I love their garments.

With that vent session complete, let's talk about how to look great on a budget. This blurb refers to buying an off-the-rack garment (also called a 'stock' garment because it is 'in stock'- not specifically made for you).

Always (and I do mean always) spend the extra money for proper tailoring of the top pieces for your professional-oriented outfit. For most people, this means pants and suit jacket (or sports coat, or blazer). A properly tailored jacket is not a box, but has a distinct shape. There are some specific gender differences in tailoring, so I've chosen to break it down by gender (why, you may ask? A. Because it makes sense and B. Because it's my blog. I own it. nyah-nah-nyah-nah-nyah-nyah)

For the Gentleman

Pants-

• Cuffed or plain bottom hem- either is acceptable, although a cuffed hem is becoming less common. Typically, you see cuffed hems with pleated-front pants. If you are short and stocky, avoid a cuffed hem (they break the clean, flowing line of a pant that provides the illusion of length in the leg)
• Legs- if they billow out noticeably or seam (get it? Slap your knees, everyone) to move independently of your legs as you walk, request that the tailor taper the legs. Play this one by ear though, and ask your (hopefully knowledgable) sales associate for their opinion. FYI- If you're shopping for a suit in (shudder) Wal-Mart or Sears, you're on your own. Unless you hire me to come along for the ride, of course.
• Waist- should sit comfortably around your midsection at the point where you prefer to wear your pants. If you can fit two fingers under the waistband (side-by-side, knuckles touching the small of your back), the waist of the pant should be comfortable. If you can fit two fingers under the waist band at the small of your back, and the pant falls down because you're not holding it.... well, then the pants are too big. The waistband CAN be altered independently from the seat of the pant- but not much. Ask your sales associate or the tailor for their opinion on what can and cannot be done with your particular garment.
• 
• Seat- Look at your posterior in a three-way or 360 degree mirror (while wearing the pants, of course). If you notice any unusual wrinkling or ANY puckering along your rear, something needs to be adjusted. The seat can be altered independently of the waist, but not by much. Again, ask a sales associate or the tailor for their opinion. Typically the waist and seat on a pant are altered together.
• Rise (aka, the crotch)- pants tend to come in low-rise, regular-rise (sometimes called mid-rise), and long-rise (sometimes called high-rise). The rise is the distance between the lowest point in the crotch and the top of the waist band. The determining factor of the rise has little to do with the proportions of the body itself, and is almost solely determined by where the individual prefers to wear their pants. The 'true' waist on the male body is the point slightly below the navel where the midsection is at its slimmest (unless you're like me and enjoy steaks and imported draft). Generally speaking, younger men tend to wear their pants below the true waist, with the waistband sitting over the hips. This is fine if you're more comfortable with your pants sitting here, but it can create problems for proper fit in a stock pant. Stand about fifteen feet away from a mirror, and walk towards it at your normal pace. Observe your crotch area in the mirror as you walk (you can tell yourself that this isn't pure narcissism later). If the fabric bunches in an unnatural manner, or if you feel the fabric catching on your mid-thigh, the rise may be too long. Typically a rise can be shortened an inch without ruining the proper shape of the pant. If you're in doubt, ask the sales associate or tailor for their opinion. Also note that this alteration can ONLY be done on a tailored dress pant. Pants with thicker fabrics (denim, thick cotton khakis/Dockers) typically cannot be altered along the rise without ruining the shape and fit of the pant (and driving the tailor to drink).

Shirts-

• The shirt cuff should rest comfortably at the breaking point of your wrist (where the wrist gets thicker as it becomes your hand). There should be minimal bunching of fabric along the arm- if there's noticeable bunching, have the tailor shorten the sleeves of the shirt (this can usually only be done a couple of inches or so- if its still too long, try a shorter size. Dress shirts are sized independently by the neck and sleeve length). FYI, when you raise your arms up over your head, the shirt cuff will ride up your arm. That's normal (I know, it seems silly to mention... but if I had a nickel for every person who raised their arms up in front of me and said 'SEE, it rides up!'...). The obvious exception to this is if you were playing a zombie in a movie, and walked around with your arms in the air all the time. Which begs the question, if you were a zombie.... why would you be wearing a suit? Far be it for me to question the infinite wisdom of Hollywood, mind you.
  
• If the shirt billows out noticeably at the waistband when you tuck it in, the shirt is either too big for you (ask the friendly-looking person with the nametag to fetch you the proper size) or the cut is very boxy, and you are not. If the latter is the case, there are a couple of remedies- have the tailor take in the side seams (giving the shirt some shape and removing excess fabric while maintaining the original look) or have the tailor dart the shirt (this also removes some of the excess fabric, but two seam lines are added at the lower back which will be visible. This is not necessarily unappealing, however. With matching or colour-complementary thread, these seam lines can become an interesting detail to the shirt).
• If a shirt looks and feels great but the collar is too tight on your neck when you do up the top button, ask the tailor to move the button for you. This can typically be done up to one half an inch. If its very hot outside and you've just come into an air conditioned space, browse the store for five or ten minutes before trying anything on. Heat tends to make blood vessels relax, which causes slight swelling in the extremities: most noticeably the neck and fingers.
• Barrel-chested or broad-shouldered men should typically look for shirts without back or shoulder pleats, as they tend to pull to the sides while you move. This is noticeably pronounced on men who are 'top-heavy.'

Necktie-

• The length and the girth actually do matter.
  
• A man who is very tall (over 6'1) will generally require a long-length necktie (usually carried only by specialty stores or "Big & Tall" retailers. Men in the 5'10-6'1 range may also require a long-length tie if they have a long torso, or wear their pants lower than true waist. How to tell? If you can't tie a proper knot and have the point of the necktie touching the top of your belt buckle, try a long-length necktie.
• Here's an interesting problem: you can tie a proper knot, the point of the tie touches the top of the belt buckle, but the small end of the tie is too short to be tucked into the tie loop, and begins to peek out from behind your necktie at the most inopportune of moments. There are three solutions to this conundrum. First, tuck it into your shirt between two buttons (but be aware that there will be a slight bulge, and it still may not be completely hidden). Second, buy a tie clip or tie tack (which will leave a hole in the necktie, VERY noticeable on light-coloured or solid-patterned neckties). Third, have the tailor move the tie loop up four to six inches (every single necktie I own has been altered in this fashion).
  
• There are a variety of necktie widths on the market right now, as we seem to be in a fashion transition back towards 'skinny' neckties. The advantage of this is that you can purchase a width that suits your body composition. Generally speaking, men who have a wide torso should look for the wider neckties, while men who are slender should look for the slimmer neckties. Skinny ties tend to look a bit off on larger men, as they only serve to highlight your midsection. The inverse is true for slender men- wider neckties look a bit off because they accentuate your slim stature.
• A last note on neckties: NEVER purchase what is known as a "footballer's" necktie. These neckties can be as thick as six inches at the widest point and, simply put, make most men look foolish.

Suit Jacket (or Sport Coat, or Blazer, or Unconstructed Sport Coat....)

• Don the jacket, and do up the button(s) (EXCEPT the bottom button. NEVER do up the bottom button. Why? Because it looks silly to people who know the rule. And you, dear reader, now know the rule. Oh, and the real reason why you never do up the bottom button is because it distorts the drape of the jacket- changing the shape and making it look funny. But I bet that you'll remember my first explanation and forget the second one).
• First, examine the bottom of the jacket and your proportions in the mirror. Stock jackets generally come in three different lengths- short, regular, and tall (specialty shops carry extended size ranges such as extra short or extra tall/long). A jacket (with the exception of some tuxedo styles) should typically be no longer than the upper-half of your thigh. This is subjective though, so ask the sales associate or tailor for their opinion. The jacket body can be shortened, but usually no more than an inch or two. And it is quite costly- this is one of the most expensive alterations that can be made to a stock garment (for men, anyway).
• Next, examine the the sleeves of the jacket. They should fall between that knobby bone and the breaking point of the wrist- the rest is personal preference. On the subject of preference, I prefer to have the jacket sleeves tailored so that the shirt cuff shows (1/4 to 1/2 an inch for a regular cuff, and to 1/4 inch above the top of the link for a french/double cuff).
• Now examine the body of the jacket. With your arms resting comfortably at your sides, there should be some space visible between the sleeves and the jacket body at the midsection. If the inside of the jacket sleeve and the body of the jacket blend together, have the tailor taper the jacket body. This can be done a few different ways (two seams, three seams, "V" or straight taper), and the sales associate or tailor will be best-equipped to make this determination.
• Finally, turn around in a three-way or 360 degree mirror and examine the shoulders and back of the jacket. Don't look over your shoulder, this will distort the shape of the jacket- instead, use the sides of the mirror like you would use the side-view mirror in your car. If there is any puckering or bunching at the shoulders below the neck, the jacket will require a collar roll, lower and square, or 'bananas' (a collar roll on steroids). The sales associate or tailor will make the determination on the best method to follow (personally, because it is such a finicky alteration, I would request that the tailor examine the jacket. Unless your sales associate is grey-haired and VERY knowledgeable).
• A last note on the suit jacket- if anything looks a little 'off' in the way the jacket fits, simply ask about it. Most experienced salespeople and any tailor worth their salt will be able to suggest a remedy to fix the problem (they may not always be right on the first try, however. Sometimes unusual alterations require a little trial and error- this does not mean that the person you deal with is poor at their job).
• Another last note on the suit jacket- a jacket which costs $150 will not fit as well or be as comfortable as a jacket which costs $1500. When purchasing, recognize that there are some limitations on fit set by the cost of the jacket. In other words, don't nitpick every little detail of an inexpensive jacket to death. Settle for the basic alterations which improve the overall appearance of the outfit and go home happy.
  

And those, dear reader, were the basics of alterations and the fit of a suit- I could go into much more detail on the subject. Several years experience working in a menswear store have taught me that there is nothing simple about as simple a thing as fit.

So, how else to we purchase career wear on a budget? Look for deals. Most retailers tend to discount garments in the off-season of the collection they were part of. For instance, spring/summer collections tend to be discounted in the fall (August/September). You can normally find great deals by shopping to the off-season, but be aware that you won't necessarily find a great selection of sizes. For the best selection, you should shop for current season goods. One upside of the current recession for you is that retailers have been stuck with a glut of inventory because people are shopping less frequently, and spending less money per visit. Profit margins in retail tend to evaporate if an item is stuck on a shelf (or table) in a store for too long. Thus, right now you should be able to find great deals on both off-season and current season garments anywhere you go.

When purchasing an outfit on a budget, NEVER cheap out on the eye-catching accessory item (necktie, bow tie, ascot, or even necklace if acceptable within your work environment). This item will draw the most attention from your colleagues and supervisors (not to mention the cute receptionist at the front desk/foyer/boss' office- which reminds me... SEXUAL HARASSMENT IS BAD. Avoid at all costs. If necessary, run away screaming with your arms flailing in the air above your head. But if you do this, make sure your boss is on lunch).

Expect to pay at least $40 (regular price) for a decent-quality necktie that won't make your outfit look cheap. For any American readers, that's currently about.... well, $40. Treat this $40 benchmark as a bare minimum. A good portion of my neckties fall in the $80-$150 range (regular price). And that represents about the market midrange. Neckties can go for $300, $400, even $500 (though this price point is somewhat rare). Seems like a lot of money for not a lot of fabric, right? That makes sense, if you look at a necktie as a commodity based only on its size. The best neckties are hand tailored from high quality silk, imported from Asia or the Mediterranean. Silk is an expensive-sounding fabric, we all associate the word 'silk' with the sound 'cha-ching.'

But what makes silk so expensive? Well, to start- silk comes from worms. Not just any worms either- a very specific variety indigenous to parts of Asia. In commercial production of silk, the moths lay eggs on a specially prepared paper. These eggs then hatch, and the caterpillars (silkworms) are fed fresh mulberry leaves. After thirty-five days and four moltings, the caterpillars are significantly heavier than when they first hatched, and are ready to begin spinning a cocoon. A straw frame is placed over the tray of caterpillars, and each caterpillar begins spinning a cocoon by moving its head in a figure-eight pattern. The silkworm produces liquid silk, which solidifies on contact with the air. After a few days, the caterpillar has spun about 1600 metres of filament, and is completely encased in a cocoon. From here, the filaments are unravelled and woven into a textile to be dyed and textured. Silk doesn't exactly grow on trees, as you can see- it's far more expensive to produce than the majority of fabrics.

PS- silkworms are not pretty creatures (look right and up). Kind of ironic that such luxurious, beautiful fabric comes from such unappealing creatures. Such is the work of man, I suppose (or woman- I'm not a rabid sexist. Honest).

If you have a $100 budget to spend on a shirt and tie, spend sixty on the tie and forty on the shirt (shift that ratio up or down as you wish). The shirt is covered by your jacket a lot of the time anyway, and doesn't draw nearly as much attention as your necktie will (most people would tend to spend more on the shirt than the necktie, without realizing the devastating effect this can have on your outfit as a whole).

So, how do you decide exactly how much to spend on purchasing an outfit? Step one is look at your bank account (hopefully not empty) and your credit account (hopefully not maxed out). If you have some money to play with, follow the one percent rule.

Every outfit that you wear on a workday should be worth around 1% of your annual pre-tax salary (or your desired annual pre-tax salary, for the up and comer). You can save money by purchasing items that work with multiple outfits. For example, a light blue dress shirt that will work with a navy suit and a black suit. Or, a camel-coloured pair of dress shoes that will look sharp with an espresso-coloured or light grey suit. Or, a necktie with a few complementary colours that tie in with a few different dress shirts. You get my drift, right?

Tomorrow comes part two of career wear- just for women (or maybe the next day- I'm out pitching a documentary to television production companies most of the day; yes I'm a man who wears many hats. Literally and figuratively speaking).

Image and..... Charity?

Two separate, distinct worlds revolving around one another... coming closer by the hour until they crash together in a horrid tangle of ideas, concepts, words, pictures, people, and ideology.

Sounds frightful. It really does. So frightful, in fact, that my breath caught in my throat as I re-read that sentence after writing it (I'm not exactly the type of guy who makes it through movies like The Grudge, The Ring, Saw, or I'm-Going-To-Kill-Everybody-in-Sight-the-gruesomest-way-possible-formulaic-American-horror-movie. Insert a title in place of that long dash filled word if you like).

But with that piece of ridiculousity (did I just coin a word?) out of the way.... image and charity, dear reader, are not destined to come together in cataclysmic world-altering explosions. In fact, image and charity are a nice fit together. A hand-holding, strolling down the beach-side boardwalk on a sunny summer Sunday sort of fit.

The long and short of it? Get involved in charity. Whether you donate, volunteer, or support in some other way. Not only does charitable work make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, it softens the perception of others towards you. And in turn, they may begin to feel all warm and fuzzy towards you (single men: re-read that last sentence and recognize that some of the 'people' who begin to feel warm and fuzzy about you are attractive, single women).

Generosity is a wonderful thing. For your soul and for your image. Did I mention that already? Yes? Well, consider this a reinforcement.

There's a reason (besides the obvious tax incentives) why A-list celebrities, politicians, and public figures are heavily involved in charitable work. It humanizes them. If Britney was involved in handing out foodstuffs to starving African orphan-babies, we the public might feel a little different about her.

Or maybe not... she's a little too far gone for the benefits of charity, even. Poor example on my part.

... if Lindsay Lohan worked weekends at a soup kitchen ...

Perhaps it's best if I stop commenting on Hollywood's megastars. The last thing that I want is to have to stop writing on this blog due to a gargantuan, frivolous lawsuit.

So, back to image and charity. Pamela Anderson has PETA (for better or worse). Joan Rivers has the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation and God's Love: We Deliver. George Clooney has the United Way. Angelie Jolie has Peace One Day. Ellen DeGeneres has the Red Cross. The list could go on for as many celebrities as you can think of. The point? It's very difficult to find a celebrity not involved in charitable work in one way or another. Whether or not a person truly believes in the charity that they give patronage to is something only that person will know for certain. However, the benefits are still the same.

After I post this, I know that someone is bound to say 'well, then what charity do you support Mr. Porthos Man?'

I've been a patron of the Heart and Stroke Foundation of Canada, the Canadian Cancer Society, and St. Joseph's Care Foundation. Most recently, I've become involved with the Canadian Diabetes Association through Team Diabetes.

On that note, if you've now decided that you're ready to experience the warm fuzzies, I have good news for you. The best friend that I mentioned in an earlier post has decided to run a full marathon in Honolulu this December with Team Diabetes to raise funds for the Canadian Diabetes Association (I'm told her long-time boyfriend, Jeff, is also running with her. Which elevates the cuteness factor of the whole event up a few notches. Seriously. It made me smiley when she told me he was running with her).

So, want some warm fuzzies in your thumper? Support her too.

Money for Anne:
https://ocp.diabetes.ca/pledge/cspledge.asp?prId=td&oId=10771747&tId=10706

Money for Jeff:
https://ocp.diabetes.ca/pledge/cspledge.asp?prId=td&oId=10771803&tId=10706

Oh, and take a read through her blog. It's witty, enticing, and very entertaining.
http://anniedeesadventures.blogspot.com/

Four Wheels, Some Doors, and a Trunk

Today, dear reader, we're going to play Jeopardy.

It has four wheels, some doors, and a trunk....
... Comes in a variety of colours...
... Plays a big role in communicating your means, image, and personality...
If you said 'What is the automobile?' then you win the $2000 Daily Double.

(Your cheque's in the mail)

Yes, your ride is a part of your image. Maybe that's shallow and materialistic.. but it's also a reality. Get used to it. Image has been important to humans since the dawn of recorded time; ever since the first caveman painted his under-eye area with green dye instead of red, and had all the little hottie neanderthal groupie-women flock to his side. Since that day, humans have worked to improve the perception of themselves in the eyes of others.

One question that burns in my mind is this- is it really as shallow and materialistic as those elements that run counter to mass culture would have us believe? Humans are in essence biological beings (yes, even Stephen Harper; cutesy blue sweater-vest or not). There are countless examples in nature of animals using bright, shiny things to increase social standing and attract mates (think peacock's tailfeathers, the bright pinky hue of the flamingo, and the vibrant colours of the toucan).

Perhaps the Porsche 9-11 is our equivalent of tailfeathers (pronounced 'pour-shuh', I'm told) Or the Maseratti Spyder. Or the Maybach Phantom. Or the Lamborghini Diablo. Or the BMW 3-Series (a little closer to affordability for me, anyway).

So what does your car say about you?

Sophistication? (Mid-priced European import, dark colour)
Fun? (Bright yellow or orange convertible sports car)
Adventuruous? (4x4 with a removable hardtop, complete with mud spatter)
Mid-life crisis? (Entry-level Porsche Boxster, cherry-red)
Soccer mom? (Massive, fuel wasting SUV with a single passenger)
Hardworking, salt-of-the earth contractor? (Heavy-duty pickup with a tool box, complete with rust patches)
Broke? (2002 Chevrolet Cavalier with scratches on the bumper and a massive dent in the hood)

Yes, dear reader, these are stereotypes. Yes, dear reader I judge people whom I see based on their image before I know them. So does 99% percent of the human population on planet earth. Again, if you don't like it, you will have to get used to it. Or perhaps accept it. Or at the very least acknowledge it.

What I don't do is continually apply these stereotypes to people after I get to know them (unless they're deserved). Hopefully most people are of the same mindset; there is a big difference between judging and being judgmental.

I'll leave you with this one thought: sometimes stereotypes exist for a reason. But, be open-minded anyway.

(Maybe the guy driving the penis-on-wheels midlife crisis cherry red Porsche Boxster is just free-spirited. Or perhaps colour blind)

The Case of the Missing... Je Ne Sais Quois.

As I walked into a grocery store in the north end of the city today, I noticed something of immediate eye-catching interest. A woman with an aqua-blue coloured handbag, of the sort that you would get at a Bentley's or perhaps an Ardene. Pleather, presumably. That's fine, however.. I don't get hung up on the price of particular goods, cheap or expensive (just know that you get what you pay for, dearest consuming public).

What was particularly interesting was that the handbag matched the shirt the woman was wearing perfectly. Cool, ya?

Well, the shirt she was wearing was a solid coloured tee shirt with a simple neckline. Nothing at all ornate or decorative about it. So, we had this fancy (looking) handbag and a very plain tee shirt. It was a bit out of place.

Colour matching is a great thing.

Colour coordination is essential when you're communicating with clothing (and no, I don't mean talking to clothing). But, also consider things like textures and weaves. Patterns. And audience. If your outfit is inappropriate for your audience, the message will get lost.

(ie- wearing track pants and a sweatshirt to the boardroom is inappropriate. You might be trying to say 'I'm a super-slick professional go-getter', but that outfit will send another message entirely... 'I'm a complete slob who doesn't really have any respect for any of you').

So, the moral of the story? Yes, make sure your socks match. Yes, make sure your necktie isn't coming out of your fly. Yes, make sure your black bra doesn't show under your white gossamer blouse.

But also consider the purpose of your outfit. Don't think that it has one? Maybe not for you (other than accessorizing your birthday suit)- but what you're wearing ALWAYS says something to the people around you. Every single time.

Style- What Is It?

The funny piece about this English language thing that we all share is that it has the most words of any language. Many of them overlap- similiar meanings, shared meanings. How many words can you think of that mean 'tired'? The meanings of some words change based on the context of the situation. Context is the most powerful driving factor in communication, bar none.

Like the spoken and written word, context can also change nonverbal communication in powerful ways. The clothing which you wear can speak volumes about your personality. Or your intent. Or your mood. How you wear that clothing can change the meaning drastically. For instance, a necktie cinched up against the collar and knotted symmetrically conveys a sense of order and professionalism. Take that same necktie and loosen it overtop of an unbuttoned collar and it now shows a slightly disheveled, much more casual look.

So, the point of the story? Context plays an important role in how other people perceive your image. Seems simple, doesn't it? Well, it is. Sometimes. The problem with looking at context and image as a simple matter of do-this-and-people-will-think-this is that everyone thinks differently. The most pronounced differences in how people perceive things run along cultural and generational lines. This is most evident in the design of garments among different ethnic groups. Take, for instance, the differences in Asian-inspired garments versus those of North American design.

Hopeless, right?

Not entirely. Style should speak about who you are. What you do. What you like, and perhaps even what you think (although, in my case I tend to avoid the latter. Honestly, who would want to wear a shirt that just screams 'I LOVE BEER!!!' -- my apologies to people who like to wear shirts that scream 'I LOVE BEER!!!' and also the people at Molson Canadian. I hear they give away a lot of those shirts).

And here I promised that I would try to veer off on tangents less often. My apologies, dear reader.

So, how does style speak about who you are? On the surface, this seems like a ridiculous statement that I've just made- one that is difficult to put into practice.

Here's the brilliant thing about it though- your sense of style speaks of who you are simply by the act of you purchasing things that appeal to you (by God, if I had a nickel for every time I heard 'but I like to wear what you like to look at, honey' then Forbes would be writing about me every month, and not Warren Buffett).

The SIMPLE ONE MOST IMPORTANT thing to keep in mind when buying clothing is fit. Proper fit, to be exact. If your clothing is ill-fitted, then it will make you look sloppy. Or worse, it will make you look like you're wearing dad's hand-me-downs. Or mom's hand-me-downs. Or mom wearing dad's hand-me-downs (this would be fairly close to worst-case scenario, I think).

What makes for proper fit? Comfort? Not necessarily. Yes, 'comfort' is important. You can't wear clothes that you're not comfortable in. But the idea of comfort can be a giant razor-toothed bear-trap sort of thing that you would only see in the most outlandish Bugs Bunny cartoon. Being set by Elmer Fudd. Here's what I mean by this: if you're used to wearing shirts that are two sizes too big, that's what you will find most comfortable (even though they make you look sloppy).

Clothing that fits properly flatters your frame, enhances your physical assets, and presents you in a much more positive light to the people around you than clothing which does not. One side effect of this: if you look fantastic, and you know you look fantastic, you tend to feel... more or less... fantastic.

If you're not sure how to go about this buying-clothes-that-fit-properly thing, hire a professional to tag along for the afternoon when you go shopping. Ironically enough, I know one who loves that sort of thing.

Inceptum

Well, I have to admit that this is my first blog posting. Ever. It's entirely possible that you are far more excited about that than I am. Writing comes naturally to some people- at least in different ways. Some writers are very adept at choosing what to write about, and some are very adept at how to write about them. Personally, I'm the latter. For the life of me, I could not decide on what to write in this quasi-monumental post (my best friend has been harassing me for ages to start a blog in companionship with my business interests- she's a certified event planner, FYI. And a very good one. Not that I know this from personal experience, as I'm unmarried.. but I have experienced some of her work first hand.). That was very tangent-y, wasn't it? Back to the subject at hand- what to write about. How does one decide? I agonized for the better portion of an afternoon. I tried many tricks to self-inspire. A glass of scotch. Browsing blogs of the 'pros.'

(another tangent sorry... but I have to point out that 'pros' and 'prose' are pronounced exactly the same. And 'prose' is what this blog is. Har har. I know... love me or hate me, I'm an incredible nerd at heart)

Again, back to the subject at hand. How to decide? So, I had a glass of scotch (a very smooth MacMillan ten year, I might add). And then browsed over a few long-running blogs. After that, I watched the antics of Hank Moody, writer extraordinaire of Californication (Amazingly enough, David Duchovny is believable as a character other than the Fox. Not that I ever watched the X-Files much. Although I did go to high school with a guy who had an obsessive crush on Scully).

Even this didn't help. So, after practicing my eyebrow furrows and nose-crinkles in my mirror for a considerable amount of time... it dawned on me. I sat down, and began to type. And now, for your reading pleasure, a blog about indecision. Why indecision? Because it's my blog and I can bloody well blog about anything that I wish.

Oh, and because this is a blog about image and perception, here's my self-mandated theme tie-in:

Men (yes, even caucasian men), CAN in fact wear pink and look incredibly good. To those men who say that pink is not manly, consider this: it takes far more brass in the southern regions to do something that you will be judged on than it does to conform and follow the herd. Ps, most women that I've crossed paths with LOVE a man in pink. Just a thought.